867-5309 JENNY!

First off, my apologies to our "fan," Caroline, who lives not in Grays but in Colchester, a good 40 miles away. All was not bad, however, as I was able to cancel my Grays Athletic t-shirt and replace it with a Colchester United -- The U's -- order.

I'm hoping that Caroline can start our first satellite fan club in Essex in the near future, and I'll be keeping everyone posted on her progress.

So, last night we packed Kristen's bags for the hospital. We have been putting it off for a while, instead doing other important chores such as eating ice cream and giving and receiving foot rubs, but at around 9 last night, Kristen felt some... rumbling.

Well, rumbling isn't really the proper word. More of odd feelings in her lower abdomen -- like a cramp -- and tinglings in her legs. I don't think I have to tell you that I was ready to drive to the hospital! Instead, we looked on the Internet and poured through all 142 baby books to see what was happening.

Fortunately (or unfortunately), they were just some Braxton-Hicks contractions (or false labor), and although they were uncomfortable and made falling asleep a chore, and Kristen's still pregnant. But we decided that the next strange feeling may not be a warning, and we got to packing.

We had everything on our list except for two things. The first was a pacifier (or two or three), and we'll be heading off to buy some tonight. The second was phone numbers.

Here's the thing. I'm sure some of you want to know when Kristen gives birth. And while the national news will likely take a few hours to pick it up and break into your prime time television programs, you want to know right away. Right?

So, here it goes. E-mail me or Kristen (or Caroline is Colchester if you're one of our European fans), and give us your cell phone or home phone number or whatever means you want to hear about this. I'll probably post something here (with a picture or two), but it won't be right away (or, really, any time soon).

If it's by cell phone, you'll get a text. It will likely say how big he is, what time he was born, what skin tone he has (I'm thinking he'll be an Autumn, but Kristen's sure he'll be a Spring), and the Swiss bank account number we've opened in his name (Legos aren't cheap).

If it's a regular phone, you'll get a 20 second call, but no bank numbers (the nurses might overhear).

Got it? Send me or Kristen your information, even if you're pretty sure we already have it. Doesn't matter. We just want all of it available in the same place so if I have to use my cell and not hers, there won't be any confusion.

And no 900 numbers. Perverts.