I'm Crazier Than You Think

I've determined that every parent (or parent to be) has one somewhat irrational thing that makes them go crazy. For some people, it's going organic. Everything has to be organic. OH, MY GOD, POLYESTER JUST TOUCHED MY CHILD'S SKIN! PUT THEM IN THE SCRUBBER!

For other people, it's CIA-like monitoring of the baby's every move. (The woman who sold us our sheets confided in me that she hooked up a video camera so she could watch her baby constantly in the crib.)

And for others, it's complete and utter foolishness in not vaccinating them for fear of autism. (Autism is extremely scary; not vaccinating your child is scary. The fact that vaccinations do not cause autism means that not having your baby get those shots is child abuse.)

For me, it's bumpers. What are bumpers, you ask? They're the plush crib "wallpaper" that they say prevents your baby from hitting their head. Do they cushion the blow? Of course! Do they also cause babies to smother to death? YES! And no child of mine is going to smother next to a crib bumper!

(While that is a bit of a wild exaggeration, but the American Academy of Pediatrics says not to use them, and if you can't listen to an academy, who can you listen to?)

Bumpers were first introduced in the good ol' days when the crib bars were so far apart, kids could get their heads through them. So, instead of moving the bars closer, they added another thing for parents to buy. Well, eventually, everyone got smarter, and the bars are now all a regulation distance from each other. They haven't, however, stopped selling the bumpers.

Sure, they now have very thing ones and mesh ones that are breathable, but really, why take the chance for anything to possibly tangle, strangle, or mangle Barnabas? (Nothing is supposed to be in the crib when they're an infant. No toys, no pillows, no blow-up dolls. Nothing.)

Of course, buying a crib set was more difficult. You see, they all come with bumpers. Kristen volunteered to use the fabric from the bumper to create some sort of curtain accent, but I figure she really wouldn't have much time to do crafty stuff in the near future.

So I went the whiny route. Those Lions sheets I linked to earlier? The ones that were stupid expensive? Well, I went to a local shop (one for crazy organic people) and asked if she would be willing to order the set without the bumper. You'd think these companies would like a customer's money regardless of what they were buying, but she had to cajole them into breaking it up.

But they did (and at a nice discounted price, seeing as how the bumper is the most expensive thing in the set). The set, sans bumper, should be arriving soon and will be that nice final touch to Barnabas' room.

His safe room.