As I rode the train home from class last night at 10:30, I noticed that there were a handful of young kids on the train (under 2 years), and I said to myself that I would never have Barnabas out that late when he is that age. I don't want to scream CHILD ABUSE and say that the young tots on the Red Line will become criminals because their parents neglected to have them in the crib on time, but I just don't like to see it. Babies should sleep in cribs and beds, not on gross and unclean subway seats.
But I digress...
So these are the things that I promise that Barnabas will never do until he's in college and disappoints me by rushing a fraternity.
1. He will never eat a hot dog with ketchup. I see these children chomping on a dog all the time with ketchup slathered everywhere, and I just want to cry. THAT'S child abuse.
2. He will never root for the Cubs. That one just goes without saying. I mean, really. The Cubs?
3. He will never be forced to wear a toddler suit/tuxedo. That's just creepy.
4. We will never make a separate dinner of fish sticks and French fries for him when Kristen and I are eating "real" food. If we spend hours making a really great, elaborate meal, he will be eating it, too.
5. He will collect comic books. Did you expect anything different? Look, if Nicholas Cage didn't beat me to it, I'd be pushing for Kal-el for a name. (Stop looking at me like that, honey. What about Bruce Wayne Cheli? Or Peter Parker Cheli?)
I think that's it for now, although I'm sure more will come up.
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2 comments:
OK, I agree entirely about most of those. But I still say that hot dogs with ketchup are delicious. Also, a baby tux (especially a white one with tales) is really the only acceptable thing for him to wear when he's on Star Search.
(would you be raising him as a Sox fan?!)
He will be a Yankees fan (just like dad).
And ketchup should never EVER touch a hot dog. That's not even up for discussion.
And I don't think we'll ever have to worry about the boy going on Star Search. Neither Kristen nor I have a lick of singing or dancing ability.
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